One night Katri talked about how all bodies decompose and how it could be seen as a gift to the biological cycle. The next morning my father died, his body was cremated and the ashes thrown into a lake, in to the biological cycle. My father’s spirit was strong, it was clear edged and did not want to let go. It followed, came in and kept on organizing things. Finally we managed to make it leave, to where ever it was heading. When my mother died a little after that, her spirit shattered and floated around like endless crumbs – suddenly there was nothing to hold on to. The big secret is this: we die in as many ways as we have lived.
Everything is terrible and nothing is. The end of the world is not waiting for us, it is already taking place, each and every moment. As long as I try to keep up a hope for better times I am desperate. It is only when I permit myself to let go, to abandon and give up, only when I permit myself to grieve everything, everything that we’ve already ruined, everything that we trample, everything which we disregard and leave to die, everything that already passed… It is only then when I can feel what is, I love it, I cry for it. It is only then I live.
The world already ended, it is time to create something new.
We are here, connected. How does my body – that is your body, our body, a body of a human, a bug, a plant, a cloud, a dream, a desire, a thought, a bacteria and of a machine, a body and bodies of everything that we are, not-humans-anymore – how does my body move connected with all that we live, that lives in us, that we are? How do I move, what is moving, what wants to come into the world? What appears if I do not prevent or force?
We are here, connected. How does my body – that is your body, our body, a body of a human, a bug, a plant, a cloud, a dream, a desire, a thought, a bacteria and of a machine, a body and bodies of everything that we are, not-humans-anymore – how does my body move connected with all that we live, that lives in us, that we are? How do I move, what is moving, what wants to come into the world? What appears if I do not prevent or force?
We have practiced this: not-preventing, not-forcing, together.
The halos have become tangible, non-verbal, non-static. The halos have become the practice, a possibility to move and to be moved, always connected with all that is.
Everything is radically different than we have let ourselves to believe. How do we live together, in this moment, without forcing, without preventing? How do we live together without one common goal, without one (right) way, without one shared ideal? What are the spaces we are creating, for what? For everything?
We are striving towards a place where we experience that we need to be right now. We are doing exactly what we need to do right now. The reasons we have are not personal, but (also) universal and plural. How does my body move, when I understand that it is many, that we are many and that we are inevitably connected? No matter if we look at each other or not.
Everything is terrible. How can everything still be perfect?
We are living in times where those in power try to define what we can talk about. The right question is not: "On whose conditions are we having the conversation?" To argue about that is to waste time. The right question is: "What are we talking about?" Of course and above all we also need to ask: how do we live? How could a polyphonic society be possible right now? And now? And now? We started the work with a hypothesis about halos: when they appeared more or less at the same time some 2000-3000 years ago in several traditions, they did not represent holiness, they were no auras of saints; they were no signs of perfection. They were expressionism: they were drawn to present the bodily/earthly experience of being alive, the experience of the world inhabiting each and every one of us, the incredible and simultaneous appearances of life in all of us. The halos represented the connection to everything; they showed us that we are not limited to our physical boundaries, that we are not separated, unattached, but always and per se plural, that we are always in (possible) contact. We are tracing these connections to offer them our bodies.
Opening up to all the connections, to all that is moving in every moment, also opens up ones identity. What and who am I, if I am not(hing) outside the fact that we are? Why and how could I control, narrow down, limit or choose what is left outside (of who I am)? How could I be more open, with fewer boundaries, without chosen and manifested identities, without fixed attributes, without titles and labels? What about us? How could we be a non-excluding community? How we could be a political agent without one, common ideal, without one label?
We are living in times where those in power try to define what we can talk about. The right question is not: "On whose conditions are we having the conversation?" To argue about that is to waste time. The right question is: "What are we talking about?" Of course and above all we also need to ask: how do we live? How could a polyphonic society be possible right now? And now? And now? We started the work with a hypothesis about halos: when they appeared more or less at the same time some 2000-3000 years ago in several traditions, they did not represent holiness, they were no auras of saints; they were no signs of perfection. They were expressionism: they were drawn to present the bodily/earthly experience of being alive, the experience of the world inhabiting each and every one of us, the incredible and simultaneous appearances of life in all of us. The halos represented the connection to everything; they showed us that we are not limited to our physical boundaries, that we are not separated, unattached, but always and per se plural, that we are always in (possible) contact. We are tracing these connections to offer them our bodies.
Opening up to all the connections, to all that is moving in every moment, also opens up ones identity. What and who am I, if I am not(hing) outside the fact that we are? Why and how could I control, narrow down, limit or choose what is left outside (of who I am)? How could I be more open, with fewer boundaries, without chosen and manifested identities, without fixed attributes, without titles and labels? What about us? How could we be a non-excluding community? How we could be a political agent without one, common ideal, without one label?
Today we are a self-organized community. No pressure: nothing needs to be produced, you don´t need to push yourself, nothing needs to be prevented and there is no need to leave things unnoticed, you do not need to participate in anything. All of us (human, bug, plant, cloud, dream, desire, thought, bacteria and machine) all are fundamentally entangled anyway. We are all part.
As the poet Edith Södergran says: Be in peace my child, there is nothing and all is as you see.
We are attempting the impossible.
From the middle of a revolution,
in Remembrance of
Timo Kallinen (19.5.1947-6.10.2013) and Pirjo Koljonen (17.4.1946-24.4.2015)
Written in Helsinki, Autumn 2015
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